Quirky Quadrants
by motherfuckinmiracles
Summary: Matesprits. Moirails. Auspistices. Kismeses. Trollmance. Chapters 1 and 2 on Quotev. Same title. (Sorry!)
1. Grumpy, Blondie, and a Bit of Trouble

Another boring day in the life of an orphan. Or whatever.

I trudged down to the bus stop, hopping on once it got there. It was noisy as always. Bluh. I was always happy to get off. Having said that, I'm sure you're wondering why I would ride it in the first place. Well, my bike was stolen sometime last night. Fantastic, right?

Eridan grinned when he saw me, coming over to chat. "Hey, Lexis."

"Heya, Eridan," I replied. "Where's Karkat?"

He hesitated. "He's been mopin' in that corner for some reason."

"Huh." I looked at him, but shook my head and smiled. "So how are you?"

"Oh, I'm doin' all right. How about you?"

"Tired."

We chatted about nothing in particular, and after a good while we had to go to class.

At lunch I searched around for Karkat. You'd think he would be easy to find. A guy with gray skin, and orange horns should've stuck out like a sore thumb. But no, he was apparently pretty good at hiding.

I finally found him sitting in a corner of the cafeteria. He sat there, seemingly lost in thought. I sat beside him, poking his horns. He grabbed my hand, a little harder than yesterday, and an internal alarm went off: this is not the time to mess with Mr. Grumpy Troll. "What did I say yesterday? Don't touch my horns. God, this planet is just full of fuckasses."

"S-sorry..." I looked down, but back at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he grunted.

I gave him a "yeah right" look. "Something. Talk to me. Please?"

"Don't fucking worry about it."

"Karkat. You know that's impossible for me." I paused a second, hastily adding, "I'm not going to ignore the problems of anyone, whether human or troll, who could be taking shit. I won't stand for it. I see to it that I take responsibility for-"

He slapped his hand over my mouth. "Shut up already. Fine, I'll talk. Eridan's just being an asshole, as usual."

His hand was still over my mouth, so I gave him a quizzical glance. "We're kinda in the middle of a fight. It doesn't concern you. That's all I'm saying." Removing his hand, he looked away and muttered, "Prick thinks he has a right to everything and everyone..."

"If I were to talk to Eridan, would he say more than you?"

There was a rather steely glance in his eyes. "Don't bother. This isn't your fight."

"You two aren't...actually fighting, are you?" I looked him over uneasily. Of course, I couldn't see any wounds through his clothes; long sleeves weren't about to reveal any pain. He didn't answer. "Are you?"

"Just stay out of it." He stood up and walked away.

Okay, ouch. Somebody fetch me a band-aid, because that one kinda cut me.

School ended, and I walked to the bus stop. A group of kids who looked to be older than me ambled towards me, and I cautiously backed against the wall. One of them was a muscled brute. Another was a bitchy looking chick. The last was actually kind of thin, but I didn't doubt his abilities.

"Boy, look at those purdy eyes," said Muscles.

Bitchchick sneered. "Yellow like a daisy. She certainly seems fragile like one too." Thinkid just cackled.

I yawned. "All right, what do you thugs want? Money? Sex? Drugs?"

"Oho, a comedian." Muscles grinned.

Bitchchick looked at me with contempt now. "I'm not sure I like it. Better watch yourself, Daisy."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Well, I'm afraid I don't have money, therefore no drugs, and no experience. You won't gain much from me." With that, I attempted to move away, but Thinkid shoved me back against the wall. "What, are you guys just stupid?" I kicked at Thinkid. Bitchchick grabbed me and it kind of turned into a chick-fight. Kicking, screaming, pulling of hair. On her side, anyway. I was more punching, elbowing, and swearing. As teachers began to try to disperse the gathering crowd on their busy way home, Muscles pulled Bitchchick off me. Thinkid had gotten up, and now all three glared at me. Muscles was just fine, but Bitchchick had a bloody nose, and Thinkid probably had a bruised shin.

"Hey, mutts, paws off." The platinum blond kid with the shades had arrived. "Find some cheaper meat, this girl's too good for you."

I frowned. Well, at least he hadn't said I was meat. But it was close.

"What are you going to do about it, yaoi boy?" Bitchchick drawled, holding her sleeve to her nose.

Muscles shook his head. "Forget it. Let's just get the hell out of here, this is a waste."

After they left, the guy approached me. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I said, rubbing my shoulder, which had been slammed to the stone wall one too many times.

"That's good. So hey, the name's Dirk."

"I'm Lexis."

"That name sounds familiar...but never mind it. Sorry if it seems strange. Just got this weird feeling that I know you."

I nodded. "All right. Well, thanks for helping me out there. I need to catch my bus now."


	2. Meteor Warning

It was the middle of the night, and I heard a tap on my window. I groggily got up and pushed the curtains aside to see Karkat. I opened the window. "Karkat...? What are you doing here? How'd you find my place?" I yawned.

"I've got a friend who knows a thing or two about technology. Let's leave it at that."

So he stalked me? "Okay, well, what are you doing here? It's oh-dark-thirty."

"There's a meteor heading for this communal hive stem and I'm feeling nice enough to make sure you're okay. Besides which, Eridan would be devastated."

"Oh, wow, I guess I'm supposed to be grateful, right?" I shut the curtain and got dressed quickly.

Through the curtain, I heard him say, frustrated, "I don't need that sarcasm. Do you want to live or not?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I do kind of have things I want to do in life."

"Great, so get all your favorite material possessions and let's get out of here."

I packed a bunch of clothes in a suitcase and headed out the front door. A meteor appeared to be soaring down from maybe a couple hundred feet. Karkat led me to a gray car, stuffing my suitcase in the trunk. "Hop in."

"Shit, you weren't lying."

He glared in the rearview mirror. "Why the fuck would I do that?"

We sped off, and in moments the meteor had blown up the apartment building. I blew out a breath. What were the chances? Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

My eyes opened slowly. I guessed that I was in Eridan's room. I was on a purple and blue bed. The walls were a sea blue, covered with posters of mermaids and seahorses. A wrecked ship in a bottle sat on a dresser, along with a little treasure chest full of gold jewelry. The carpet was the color, but luckily not the texture, of sand.

_Impressive, _I thought. They had more money than I did, somehow. I shuffled out to where Eridan and Karkat sat, watching some kind of romcom. Karkat was growling about one of the characters. "Is this your house? How in the world do you have more money than me?"

Eridan looked at me happily, but said somewhat glumly, "Oh, I had to sell some a my gold jewelry. I had more a it, lots a it. I'm practically royalty."

"Of what, the sea?" I teased, sitting between them.

Karkat cracked a little smirk. "He thinks he's special because he's almost got the best blood, but Gamzee's got more power. And Feferi's the highest."

"Oh? And what color is your blood? We're dyin' to know, Kar."

"That's right, your blood is purple-ish, isn't it?"

"It's violet," Eridan replied rather smugly. "So, Kar?"

"I'm not telling you, damn it. Not like it fucking matters."

"Why would it, anyway?" I asked curiously.

"The hemospectrum," Karkat grumbled distractedly. "Red's the lowest, a kind of fuchsia is the highest."

"But according to Kar here, it's all about who thinks they're the most powerful. Gam's insane without his slime, and Fef's pretty cool about her blood color."

"Gam and Fef... Other trolls?"

Karkat nodded. "Gamzee's my moirail, and Feferi lived underwater with this fish-for-brains."

Eridan made a little sound of protest and I giggled. "So I didn't know you had a soft spot for romance, Karkat."

He glared at me. "I don't."

"Don't lie, I came out and you were all upset about the character doing something."

Eridan grinned. "He's quite the expert at givin' advice on the quadrants."

Karkat swatted at him. "Shut the hell up."

I smiled and stretched out on the couch, my head in Karkat's lap and my legs in Eridan's. "What kind of movies did you watch back on Alternia?"

"I dunno about Kar, but one of my favorites was In Which The Main Protagonist Goes To A Chocolaterie After Finding A Golden Ticket-"

I frowned. "Wait, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Yeah, that one was good. I loved it when I was younger."

"I wasn't done," Eridan whimpered quietly.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Troll movie titles tend to be longer than your human ones."

"Weird. What about books?"

"Same long titles," Karkat replied.

So we spent the rest of the day watching movies and talking about weird troll customs. Night fell again.

Karkat looked down at me, as my head was still in his lap, and he lifted it off. "Okay, since you're living with us now, there will be some rules. No coming into my room for any unspecified reasons, especially when I'm sleeping. Just thought I'd put that on the table."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, I'm living with you now? Two guys, one girl. What could possibly go wrong?" Eridan chuckled, but Karkat gave me a bored glare.

"You'd rather live on the street?"

"No, I'm sorry, not appreciating the 'tude?"

"No."

"I'd say you can sleep in my room-" Eridan started.

"But we have a guest room," Karkat finished.

Eridan's smirky face pouted at him. "Not even one night?"

"Stop making it so obvious that you're flushed, asshole." Karkat pointed over to an empty room, but I noticed my suitcase sat at the end of the bed. "That's the guest room, so make yourself comfy, and have a good night, I guess."

I smiled and gave both of them a warm hug. "Thank you both."

I woke up the next morning to a pleasant smell, and upon investigating I found Karkat in an apron and Eridan sitting at the table eating eggs and bacon. "Oh, well, good morning!"

"Mornin', Lexis. Turns out Kar is a decent cook."

I grinned. "You surprise me more everyday, Kar."

He scowled, but something about it was softer today. "It's enough for him to call me that, please don't start calling me Kar, too."

"Well, since you said please." I sat down beside Eridan and a plate was placed in front of me.

I've never had a nicer breakfast.


	3. Living Space (& the Need for More of It)

I was watching TV when something caught my eye. Karkat had shut himself in his room, and Eridan was just sitting on the couch opposite me.

"Thank you, Tom. I'm here to investigate an apartment building which seems to have been struck by an unexpected meteor, and has burned nearly completely down. Firefighters luckily managed to get to the scene in enough time to save at least some of it."

The scene switched from the news anchor to the firefighter. "Most of the people were escorted out unharmed, and we did find an unconscious young lady very close to the meteor who had miraculously survived the impact. She appeared to be wearing a costume of some sort, but upon further inspection, we've determined she actually has these horns. And her skin is gray, but whether that's dye or really her skin color, we can't tell. She's been taken to the Parkland Hospital, and we'll possibly hear more about that later."

I paused the TV, looking at Eridan, who looked back with some surprise and concern. "Karkat," I called. "Get your butt out here."

Karkat poked his head out the door. "What for?"

"Remember that meteor? I think one of your troll friends hitched a ride on it to pay a visit."

Expression incredulous, he came out and sat in a chair propped up by the TV. I rewound the report, and he and Eridan shared a look. I hopped up, pulling my shoes on.

"Umm, goin' somewhere?" Eridan asked.

I nodded. "We're going to Parkland."

Karkat raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly are we doing that?"

"I've got friends, you know," I huffed, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket and dialing my best friend, Drew. "Hey, Drew? Think you can come pick me up?"

"Lexis! Thank God you're okay!" he practically screamed into the phone. "Where are you?"

"I'm at a...friend's," I replied, not sure what else to call Karkat and Eridan. After all, Karkat seemed to hate everyone and everything, and Eridan made things a little uncomfortable, what with his rather romantic, but pitiful nature. So I had to use the term lightly, I guess.

"Who? Where?"

"You don't know him, well, them. But type this in your phone's GPS and come on over. Uh, please." I gave a small laugh and gave the address I had seen on the mailbox.

"Okay, I'll be there soon." We sat around waiting for a couple moments and finally there was a knock at the door. I answered it, Karkat and Eridan just behind me.

"Hey!" I hugged him and motioned to the two trolls. "This is Karkat, and Eridan. Karkat and Eridan, this is my best friend since forever, Drew."

Drew looked at them strangely. "Oh, hey. Are you guys, by any chance, related to that chick found at her apartment after the meteor hit?"

Karkat was about to talk, but Eridan interjected. "Yes, we were just on our way to go see her." Karkat glared at him.

"Ah. Are... Are those horns real?" He reached for Karkat's horns.

"I really wouldn't do that," I said, grabbing his hand.

Karkat straightened up. "Yeah, they're real. Why wouldn't they be?"

It occurred to me that as aliens, they probably didn't know about Halloween, or any other costume-related activities for that matter... "Uh, well, Karkat, see, humans tend to dress up with horns and other stuff, like as characters from anime, or webcomics... Nobody exactly knows that they are these...aliens that actually have gray skin and horns."

Drew scratched his head nervously. "Yeah, I thought it was just a costume or something... I mean, it is a couple weeks til Halloween. It's early to be trying on costumes, but whatever floats some people's boats, I guess. Not that I still think you guys are in costume... Wait, aliens?"

"It's a long story. But we need to get to Parkland and check on her."

"All right, to the car, then." We walked out to his '95 Corvette Pace Car. It was pale blue, pretty cool, and comfy. Minutes later, but not too many, we were at the hospital, and strolled in.

"Uh, hey," Karkat said to the nurse at the front desk. "We're here to see our...sister."

"Name?" she asked, obviously bored.

"Mine? Or hers?"

Eridan stepped up. "See, we aren't sure who she is, because we've got 10 other siblings, an' we heard that she had been found unconscious in those apartments, but they didn't describe what she looked like. If it's all right with you, could you just tell us which room a girl who's got horns like ours an' the same gray skin is stayin'?"

She just stared at him for a while, probably wondering why she had to be bothered during her boring job by these weirdos. Then she turned to a passing doctor and asked about what had just been said.

"Oh, her?" the doctor questioned. "She's in room 612. Dr. Peters was saying something about how she had woken up." Eridan thanked the doctor and we headed off to room 612. The female troll was sitting up in her bed, and her eyes widened when she saw us. Her body wasn't too covered in burns and wounds. "Eridan, Karkat! Water you guys doing here?" She seemed quite happy to see them.

"I could ask you the same thing," Karkat muttered.

"Fef," Eridan cheered. "How are you feelin'?"

"I'm feeling pretty whale," she replied with a smile.

"Would you knock off the fish puns?" Karkat growled.

"Oh, fine, Mr. Crabby Pants." He glared at her for a moment, but she quickly continued. "That so doesn't count. Your sign is Cancer, remember?"

They both pouted, and I gave her a friendly smile. "Hi, I'm Lexis. Judging by how Eridan called you Fef, you must be the Feferi these two told me about."

"Yep! It's nice to meet you, Lexis! When did you meet them anyway? Have they been bothering you?"

I laughed. "No. At least not too much."

She turned to them curiously. "How did you guys end up here in the first place?"

"Transportalizer malfunction. A damn crazy one too..." Karkat said simply. "And we tried getting back, but it wouldn't work."

"Oh," she replied, frowning. "I wonder how we'll get back then..." I felt slightly upset at that. I knew they'd want to get home, but it just seemed a bit sudden. I guess you could say I might have been starting to get used to them being around and didn't want them to leave too soon.

A doctor walked in, brows knit at the presence of four new faces. "Hello, I'm Dr. Peters." Looking at Karkat and Eridan, he saw resemblance. "Family?" Eridan nodded. "All right, well, your...sister, I'm guessing? She appears to be fine, just a couple minor burns and scrapes. I believe she's able to be released and taken home now." So we made an awkward attempt to fill out some forms, and off we went. The three trolls sat in the back, Karkat in the middle (and grumbling about it).

Once in my new house with the trolls, I faced them. "So she's gonna stay...where? She can't sleep on the couch, that's no fun."

"We could always set up another recuperacoon in the guest room," Eridan suggested.

"Then that's settled. We'll fetch all the stuff to build a bed and get cracking."

* * *

"Fuck!" Karkat exclaimed, nursing his thumb.

"Oh, did poor Karkitty hit his thumb with the hammer?" I cooed. He glared, but I took his thumb and kissed it gently. "Better?" He continued to scowl, but something about it was softer.

"Where does this glubbin' piece go?" Eridan muttered, turning it every which way. I giggled and helped him with it.

Feferi seemed to be the most successful of these oh-so strange aliens. "Keep up the good work. Or maybe I should say kelp up the good work?" Eridan snickered, Karkat groaned, and Feferi laughed.

The bed looked good despite having been built by amateurs inexperienced with such a task.


	4. Everybody Hates Publicity

"Lex, the door..." a voice called out.

I rubbed my eyes, slouching out of bed. "Why can't you get it?"

He poked his head out at me, yelling as quietly as possible. "Can't a troll be allowed to catch up w-with a possible matesprit?"

I blinked at him, deciding to ask him about that later. Or about anything else, really. I still didn't know a lot about them. "Kay, fine, whatever. Probably for me anyway." When I went to the door, I found a man with a camera and a man with a notepad. They both looked very eager, and it bothered me, but at least they weren't Mormons.** (AN: A wild Kankri appears! ****_Trigger warning: #possible insult to religion #not intended to be hate)_**

"Hello, are you the young lady who is currently housing three aliens?" Camera Man asked. " "If you can even call them that," Note Man added.

I groaned mentally. Shit, what were the consequences of my actions? Karkat yelling at me: check. _Wait..._ I thought. _They go to school. Why wouldn't they have been noticed before? _There were, I suppose, three possibilities here: a) they had merely stayed away from anyone who would question them mercilessly, therefore losing their interest; b) no one cared much anyway; or c) these paparazzi-esque men had just found out where we lived (somehow) and would begin all the interviewing and stalking. So I thought for a moment. "No," I said simply, shutting the door in their faces. "Wait!" they yelled, knocking at the door. I locked it, and just in time because one attempted to open it.

Sighing, I walked into the living room and flopped down onto the couch, turning the TV on. I flipped through the channels, settling on Bride Wars. Just as Kate Hudson's and Anne Hathaway's characters were squealing with the rest over the bouquet tossed at that wedding they were attending in the beginning of the movie, Karkat snuck out and sat beside me.

I giggled. "I bet you couldn't ignore the sound of a romcom even if it were incredibly shitty."

Good-naturedly shoving me, he rolled his eyes. "Eh, this one's alright, I guess. I'm not a big fan of Anne Hathaway, though. But boy are humans strange... This isn't exactly how I remember it."

"What the glubbin' hell?!" Eridan shouted from his room. Feferi looked out, but seemed a little uninterested and went back to what she was doing.

I looked at Karkat. "Uh, enjoy the rest of this human rendition. I'll go check on him." I scurried to Eridan's room, slightly alarmed.

"What's wrong?"

He groaned. "How many people know about us, exactly?"

"I don't know... Why?" He motioned to the screen, a long story or something displayed. I read through it, stopping at the part where the awkward, shy, main character began to kiss a troll character who was portrayed as strange and not understanding human cultures, as an alien well wouldn't. "Oh."

"I have a bad feelin' about this. I don't w-wanna be considered a freak," he muttered, sitting on the edge of his bed. Then a strange look fell upon his face. "Although, I have kinda w-wondered w-what it might feel like... These human-troll sloppy makeouts Kar is so disgusted by."

_Oh, God, no. _I backed away uneasily. But there was a part of me that felt this attraction and I guess that's what kept me there. Without meaning to, I closed the door with my back.

He tilted his head to the side. "Lex," he said quietly. "I w-wouldn't w-want to scare you. But...can w-we just maybe try?" He stood up, ring-covered fingers twitching slightly, nervously.

I was definitely surprised, and a little nervous too, but I put on a brave grin and moved back to him. "I-I suppose it couldn't hurt."

The world seemed to kind of fade away as I put some concentration into it, and into kind of teaching him. He was obviously quite inexperienced. Our lips were still locked as the door swung open.

"Lex-" Karkat started, but eyes wide, he saw us. His face turned a pale shade of red, but no doubt more from anger than embarrassment. "There's someone at the door," he growled, whisking away.

"Shit..." I walked out, trembling a bit out of startlement and...fear? I opened the door. It was a man in a dark suit. All business, no games. I probably wouldn't be able to get out of this one with the excuse that now was not a good time.

He cleared his throat. "Are you Lexis?"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered.

"May I come in?"

I wanted to ask why, but shook my head slowly. I'd be damned if I didn't try to get him away, to get away myself, and to just sit in my room, odd feelings of panic sweeping over me. "Now really isn't a great time... The place is a mess," I lied. "And I've got a horrible headache."

His eyebrows raised an inch, and I noticed something pass over his eyes. I had most likely irritated him. "I see. When would a more opportune time be for me to return?"

"I don't know..." _Maybe never? _I inwardly pleaded. "Tomorrow, around 5, I guess?" Dammit.

"Alright, I shall try my best to see you then." He gave a thin-lipped smile. With that he turned and walked away stiffly. I practically raced into my shared room with Feferi, who was currently reading a book I knew pretty well: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. The main character was the son of the Greek god of the sea, Poseidon, so it seemed to make sense that she'd take an interest in it.

"Oh, Lexis! This book is reelly good!"

I sighed and curled up on my bed, trying to process the day's insanity. "Yeah, let's talk about it later, okay?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just need to rest, that's all."

I ended up sleeping the rest of the day away.


	5. Back to School Days

**Hey there, everybody! So, so very sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've had a hell of a lot of business and drama going on. Without further ado, I present chapter 7 of Quirky Quadrants! *Muffled cheering in the distance***

"Lex. Lex, w-wake up. This thing w-won't stop ringin'."

I heard Eridan's voice over the blare of the alarm clock. That smugness. The double w's and v's. Cutting off g's in verbs. Ugh.

"Eridan... Why are you in my room?" I looked at him with the look everyone seemed to fear on bad Monday mornings. If the sea-troll snob wasn't careful, he'd get more than a glare.

"That stupid thing w-was just kinda botherin' me. I w-was just sittin' around, couldn't sleep, an' then it starts buzzin' like crazy."

"It's called an alarm clock. It wakes me up for school." I swatted at it and sat up with a groan and a sigh. "Go wake Karkat if he's not already up. Gotta get back to school, no matter the publicity."

Eridan winced. "W-wake him up? W-what, are you crazy? No w-way you're puttin' me in charge a that."

Rolling my eyes, I shuffled out, still in pajamas but not caring. "Karkat," I grumbled as I marched in. "Up and at 'em."

His eyes opened groggily and widened just a tad for a mere second before darkening and adopting his usual grumpy expression. "Oh yeah. That institution called school in which they work you like peasants, throwing assignments left and right."

"You haven't gone to school longer than a week or two. Why are you complaining?"

"That's how it is, isn't it?" He gave me a bored, but hardened glare. "If you'd mind getting out of my respiteblock now I could, oh I don't know, get some clean clothes on for this bright, new, sunshiny day."

I turned away, biting my lip to prevent myself from saying anything. Was he more bitter than usual? Maybe. Was there a good reason? Probably so. Would it help to let him cool off? Most likely. Shaking it aside I threw on a shirt and some jeans and gently tapped Feferi's shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and she stretched and yawned softly (a much cuter way to wake up than the grump in the next room). "Hey, Fef? I have to go to school now, do you want to come with us or do you think you'll be all right here?"

She gave me a curious glance. "School? Like a school of fish?"

"Not exactly... But there's lots of cool people and I guess learning is fun."

"Learning? It would be nice to learn about this place! And maybe I can make some friends! We'd get along so swimmingly!"

I laughed. "So yes?"

"Yeah!"

"All right, I don't have to leave for about another 15 minutes so if you have anything to take care of now's the time."

I went to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth, and for the remaining time I checked my social network crap. A knock at the door caught me off guard and I made for the door, but Eridan opened it first. I stood behind him, surprised to see Drew.

"Hey, Lex. Came to pick you guys up."

"What? Really? You didn't have to..."

He grinned. "And how else were you planning to get to school? Alien transportation device? Do... do you guys have one of those?"

Eridan shook his head. "That's w-what got us here, but it broke. So w-we don't quite know-w how-w w-we're gettin' home yet."

"Oh, well, sorry. But like I said, I'm willing to take you guys with me."

"Well, thank you, Drew," I said with a smile. I turned around. "Karkat! Feferi! Let's get going, ride's here." We all walked out to the car, Feferi and Karkat being total opposites. Drew and Eridan seemed to be getting along pretty well, and I was just sitting there indifferently. Then my mind drifted to Dirk. Why did he seem like someone I knew? _Did _I know him? I didn't believe in past lives, but had I met him somewhere before in my life?

Wouldn't you know it, Dirk came up to me as I walked up to the large school building. "Yo, Lexis. Could I ask you some questions?"


End file.
